Suicide Note

I never know if there is a next life. If there is one, will I meet you again? To be honest, I prefer this is the end. Because no matter how sweet our love is, there will be more bile. I am incapable to be a knight to keep fighting for us. So, I choose to be a deserter.

I don’t know how much time do I have to live. I don’t know how long I will go on loving you. I still love how you appear in my mind. I still love your sound especially the way you speak. I even miss your once angry voice. But you are so calm and peaceful these days. And I too, love the content you.

I am willing to be an infatuated man loving you in humble distance. Perhaps for you, I am a masochist, a lower rib, a self fulfilled devastation. There is no time table for our love. Yet, I am counting down the days. I am giving all I can while you know I am a hypocrite.

I am glad that I don’t look forward to the next life. I am satisfied to surrender to a woman like you, a love like us. There are not enough next lives to match this passion, this madness and this loyalty in its totality. I have enough material to write love poetry to make up for the missing kisses and passionate nights.

I walk to the end of my life with worn out shoes in the company of your divine shadow and angelic sound.






Author: Cassa Bassa

🇦🇺🇨🇳 inquisitive, observant, witty, a thinker, was a misfit child 😊

12 thoughts on “Suicide Note”

  1. Such a passionate poem. But at the same time, I question the advice I’d give this man. Perhaps he is better suited to move on than live life depressingly chasing what he knows he can’t have.


    1. I think the depression comes from he gave up his right to love when he had the chance. Now his is a living death to reap the regret. It is indeed very sad. It also makes us realise we need to fight for what we love. That’s the least we can do, and leave the rest to God. Regret is not one of the cards dealt by God.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my heart bleeds for this poet who likely has passed before my time! Is he still alive, Cassa?
    I keep thinking of the quote from Lord Tennyson “Better to have loved and lost , than to never have lived at all!”. It may be actually than to never have known love at all. I think the second is correct. Yes sadly, deeply and painfully I read this poem as my 15 year relationship (13 married) has come thrashing down through my heart. At times I think of him…yet know not once he worried of me. Now I sit homeless with a shopping cart…of nothingness. Tears flow. Maybe therapeutic. Love you Cassa! M

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He is still kicking and well 😊
      He has chosen a different woman but spent the rest of his life lament about his only love.
      And she finally moved on and be well again.
      Love you to M! Like always, you are precious. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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