The Danger of Introspection

Some of us look inward to find answers and healing because we think it will be more achievable to do it on our own instead of counting on others or relying on external forces.

We have seen the ugly of this world. When we search deep within, we realise we perhaps see the same ugly. The only difference is, this time, we no longer can ignore the ugly by walking away. We carry that ugly inside and we don’t know how to get rid of it.

We may hear that by searching our heart, we will find answers and even treasures. The reality is that ‘out of the heart flows the issues of life’. It’s almost like the chicken or the egg first scenario. We wonder if the heart corrupts the way we live our life, or the other way around.

If we are capable of changing our heart without miracle, then there will be no misery of life. Miracle is hardly the thing we are able to generate from within. Therefore, it is childish to think our heart can be renewed by introspection and we can find our own way out of suffering.

The danger of introspection is like bumping our head to a brick wall and wonder what is wrong with us that we are battered and bleeding out. It may not be so obvious to most because that brick wall is so charmingly beating and appearing to be so full of life. And yet, we don’t know why we are slowly going insane while life is draining out of us.

There is a time we come to know our limits and call out for help.

Unsure

I am not sure
if I ever
want forever

good dreams 
end in waking
real dreams
never come true

I am only sure
of this moment
if my heart 
feels warm 
and fuzzy
if my mind
is at peace

I am not sure
how to live
in tomorrows
when it comes
to the issue 
of my heart
and the matter
of love