Seashell Sadness

You sent me a seashell
wrapped in bubbles
with a note saying

“When you miss me
hold it close
to play one of
the love notes
I wrote you
buried in white sand
where I sat each day
by the ocean
calling out your name”

I left the seashell
on my bookshelf
next to the books
you sent me
two summers ago

I am becoming
a hobby collector
who accumulates
broken promises
and empty dreams

I diligently dust
any remnant of hope
off the shelf
like a devoted nun
at her daily supplication
while your consistent contacts
constructed an abbey
holding my heart
in hostage



It is so difficult to love you.
When you need me to hold you, you want me to stand in distance.
When I fade too far away, your eyes are filled with sadness.
I can’t touch your face to wipe off your tears.
Because you won’t let me be close to you.

It is so difficult to stop loving you.
I read all your unspoken words like the love I were not allowed to confess.
Why do we understand each other so much with so little contact?
I wish I don’t feel or experience your emotions like my own.
Because I can’t separate myself from you.

It is so difficult to know what to do,
except write to you chérie, knowing you will never let our hearts be whole.

Goodnight chérie!

Your heartbroken fool

Internal voice

I saw you holding her hands.
The way you looked at her
spoke volumes.
It was so loud that
my thought would never
be heard.

I know I love you.
If my head says otherwise
my heart betrays me.

I am left wanting
the most idyllic place
in your heart.
Only echoes
reverberating in my
new found reality.

Love in darkness

when darkness drapes off the sky
my love to you comes to life
the daylight silence
finally gives a voice to me
I sing odes to you
unleash in
whistle register
vocal fry

my darling
sleep sweet
wake up beautiful
in the morning
greet me in honeydew smile
your sympathetic look
lingers throughout the day
my longing boils up
overflows into the dusk
my unrequited love
floods the night sky

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