There are so many things to do in life
Some may be good and some may be bad
Like a roller coaster of ups and downs
There are also many risks
Like you saving a family member
and the risk is that
you might die from doing this
There are some risks you can take
and some you just can't
So Risk can be good like
saving a family member and living
Or bad like
you save them and you die
I am a fugitive for life
there is nowhere to hide
run from mundane 9 to 5
fly into the vanilla sky
“Open your eyes.
You’re going to be fine.”
everything rings lies
illusion cheats no time
I had no electricity
at first
the zen in me remained calm
candle light was special
and poetic
I had been kicked around
like a soccer ball
between the energy supplier
and the strata manager
neither cared about
my defrosted deep freezer
and lukewarm refrigerator
fail after mistake
empty promise after fail
error after lip service
my anger surfaced
they started to receive
official warnings
from me
they retaliated with
strata by-law and ombudsmen
my anger turned into rage
I plotted to cause
the strata manager
to lose his job
the customer service officer
to be humiliated on national tv
then
I paused
to remember the difference
between
the outright angry customer
who screamed at the cashier
and
the polite cashier
who took complaints
day in and day out
eventually the passive anger
went ballistic to
gun down everyone in store
I finally realised
they were just a few
soggy frozen dinners
and wilted vegetables
I will have some wine
and write about it
rather than
follow through the plot to
destroy
you’re from out of space
among the diamond rain
just crash into me
I would never thought to
miss the kookaburra
woke me up at 5am
but I do today
along with other things
like
watching the fish swimming
in the water hyancinth filled
inground pond
reading by the crackling fire
under the shade cloth
the smell of lavender, rosemary,
basil and sage from the garden
Sunday roast
and the laughter
once a family gathering brought
although
they are not the things
made me feel like home
but today
just today
I do miss
them
Remembering The One You Love – Glenn Frey
she shouted to the receptionist
threatened to hack us all in pieces
she screamed those words out
in a foreign tongue
her neck flushed with red patches
her hair had gone messy
her eyes were fueled with fire
in our shared language
I tried to de-escalate her rage by
offering her a cool drink
while clearly expressed to her
the options of
the police or the mental health team
if she was unable to cease screaming
she sat down
showed me photos of a hole
in her ceiling
and the water marks
resembling the world map
she told me
for six years
she have lived with ceiling leakage
for nine months
she haved stared at the hole
in the ceiling every night
she wept
for her man left her
the hole in the ceiling
is a constant reminder of
how her heart was broken
and it seems beyond repair
she is a tenant
complaining about
a repair and maintenance issue
she is a woman
suffering great despair
what is on the surface
is just the tip of
the iceberg
when the sea breeze
blows through the curtain
and bekons me to be awake
I refuse to meet
its face to concur that
the sun is yet to set
it brings me
no new hopes
as it has been
for decades
my monologue to the void
through the land breeze
only makes its way to you
at nightfall
this is
the natural phenomena
I cannot transgress
then why am I still
endeavoring to reach you
張愛玲 《半生緣》
Flicker of Thoughts 