I remember
they said I was a misfit child
I remember
they said I was a depressed teenager
I remember
they said I wasn’t beautiful
I remember
they said I was a people pleaser
I remember
what they said did not break me
I know
I am a unique creation
I know
I feel the weight of life and people
I know
I believe wisdom is beautiful
I know
I am quick to forgive
I know
What they said has made me whole
an empty plastic bag
danced in the wind
Fouetté, Grand Jeté, Plié
took a bow
blown away
hung on the tip of a mast
sailed towards sunset horizon
with a distended belly
rolled away
whiplashed by ocean waves
deflated under the
anaemic moon
drifted off
dissolved skin
rotten flesh
we thought
there was no life
in dry bones
from the valley
of death
when the breath of life
entered them
tendons were attached
flesh came upon them
covered them with skin
they came to lives
for there was compassion
and belief of a
Sovereign Maker
of All
she is used to eating dinner alone
with Netflix on her laptop playing
she is not sure about
sharing a couch and dinner
interacting with each other
she is used to taking a bath
in the company of candle lights
and a glass of wine
she is not sure about
having another to
refill her glass
trim the candle wicks and
sit quietly to watch her
with desire simmering
change is a good thing
if there is
harmony in being together
and passion for one another
grieving is a process
I wish
it was a project
with limited scopes
budgeted emotional investment
realistic deliverables
mitigable mental health risk
achievable in a foreseeable future
grieving is being powerless
of letting go
of the loss
I wonder why
you spill everthing
on paper
the good the bad
the beauty the ugliness
the wins the fuckups
then this springs to mind
“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible – and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”
It is so true!
I wanted to go to the beach
let the salty air tire me out
I wanted to hear through the seashell
your even breathing in the night
I wanted to cry to the ocean
let her strong arms comfort me
instead
I lied in bed suffer through a migraine
let the pain overcome me
I went to watch the Lion King
dozed off in children’s munching sound
I cooked butter chicken and mulled wine
let the meal speak for itself –
How did I get here?
