Category: Micro Stories

Reality Check

Parents! We don’t have a problem child. What we do have is an ungrateful heart.

A child is God’s gift to us by grace. We did nothing to deserve a child who is precious and beautiful in every way.

Children are here to help us to grow up, to be mature and nurturing adults, and to live our full potential as human beings.

If we refuse to grow up, refuse to accept that they are here to teach us, to challenge us, instead, we bully them, blame them to be the problem of our arrogance, ignorance and obstinacy, to label them to be the problem child, we are in fact the biggest loser.

In our childish and foolish ways, we get into competition with our own flesh and blood, we grow jealous of their innocence, wisdom and talents. We are unable to humble ourselves to let our children to try, to shine, and to thrive. We wonder why we grow harsh, stone hearted and despair. It is impossible to please an ungrateful heart.

Love our children as they first love us unconditionally. 💕

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. – Psalm 127:3

 

man person cute young
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The scene

The golf course had already filled up with carts and players before the sun heated up. Dawn was dragging her steps on the last leg of her daily brisk walk along the outskirts of the golf course. It was a humid Saturday morning, late Spring, and she was already drenched in big fat sweat stains. They felt like ill-formed targets for the self-hatred she’d always had towards her block of lard body. Lately though she’d been turning her anger into motivation to exercise; however she could do without the smell of pollens, especially from the scarlet bottlebrush. The sound of her labouring breaths drew the attention of other walkers on the path. Just before they could work out where the wheezing noise was coming from, they saw Dawn’s legs turning into jelly, then heard a loud thud…

 

Fear

I have enroled in an online creative writing course. The first thing I have done for myself in 13 years.

I have just read through the intro of my coursemates. I have found myself to be deflated for the simple fact that others are better writers than I. They have done some serious writings from journalism, academic research articles, professional journals and book reviews. Here I am, struggling to get English spelling and grammar in check. And this is only a basic writing course. WTH?!?

Being Chinese, I grew up in a highly competitive academic culture. I was one of those students who failed in prepared exams while topped the class in spontaneous assessments. I failed to perform in high school entry exam and university entry exam. I struggled almost all subjects except chinese literature, English language and physical education. Jokes aside, I am truely one of the rare chinese who fails in mathematics.

My performance anxiety has been carried throughout adulthood although I have been mostly managing and coping relative well. It is in times like this I feel myself starting to buckle under pressure.

My brain is having a debate when I am writing this. It is not noisy, instead, rather frustrating.

I want to quit before the first assignment so nobody gets to read my dodgy writing.

Don’t quit! Readers’ comments help you to be a better writer. That’s the whole point for coursemate interaction.

How do you deal with the lukewarm comments? You know those too polite to tell you that your writing sucks? Or the perfectionists keep picking on your poorly constructed sentences? Or just heartless ‘good effort’ ones?

You are completely overthinking and freaking yourself out. Remember how to deal with overthinking?

I know! I know it may not happen (and as if it really gonna happen and people actually will be that mean) and I should dismiss the thought and not let it consume my energy. I may have great characters and plot to write. But I know they are just better writers who write stuff that makes sense to the reader.

Fear is a fucking liar and you are making no sense whatsoever…

Did you just stomp off on me? Hey….hey… I am all alone now to do this hefty thinking. I need my Pup…😔

Shining bright

There is nothing more rewarding than to see a constantly failing person succeed.

The first time we met, I still remember clearly how she came wearing defeat.

I asked an open ended question ‘What can you tell me about yourself?’
She told me she was an academic failure, extremely anxious and a snail learner.
Then I asked her ‘Who are you deep down?’
She had a long awkward pause, then…’I am a kind person always willing to help.’
I saw a sparkle in her blue eyes framed by an alabaster heart shaped face.
I probed ‘What do you think it’s standing between you and your success?’
The words fell out before she could even catch them. ‘Only if people see me instead of my disabilities.’

I shared with her my observation.
We all came with gifts and talents.
One’s disability in a different environment is a unique ability.
We are mostly ignorant to things which we don’t quite understand.
Therefore when people don’t know how to cater for your unique abilities,
they tend to reject you.
The key is to search for an environment where your gifts and talents are valued,
your ability will be seen and you will be a star.

Today I received an email from her.
She told me she has been busy using her gifts and talents
in a place everyone sees her ability to be kind and helpful.
I opened the attachment. It’s her selfie. Her blue eyes are shining bright like twinkling stars.

Impression of a couple books

To be honest, I haven’t read a book that left an impression for quite some time. Most books I have read in the last few years have been just for passing time. Once I had read them, I almost could not recall much detail.

There are two books are like gems. They are in different genres and presented in independent brilliance. I consider myself a serious reader, not in a widely read way, but in a focus on serious topics way.

l’insoutenable légèreté de l’être (The Unbearable Lightness of Being) by Milan Kundera.

amazon link cling here

It is a novel depicts characters we may despise according to our moral codes and yet they are us in the everyday mental struggle. It left me thinking long after I finished reading.

Notches by Mike Ennenbach.

amazon link click here

It is a short story collection filled with humour, heartaches, beauty and love. I have not been a short stories reader since secondary school. After reading Notches, I felt it was like a tasting tour in an ingenious writer’s mind.

Too far gone

You haven’t written about me for a while.

You haven’t checked my blog for a while.

Don’t change subject.

Don’t think my blog is about you.

It isn’t?

It isn’t! It’s about my life and people around me. I have told you before and the time before that.

Oh! I have been busy with work.

People work. It’s a blessing.

Why do you run out of things to write about me?

The world does not revolve around you.

But I thought we are special.

You are special! 🙄

Are you mad at me?

Nope!

You are mad at me, aren’t you? I can tell cos you look annoyed.

🙄

You are doing the 360° eye rolling thing and giving me silent treatment.

😶

Why don’t you write about I annoyed you then. Here you are some inspiration for ya!

Yea mate! 🤯

……

Far out! That’s why you are my ex ex ex, so far gone…😤

Atonement

Easter is one of those catch 22 scenarios. People around the world worshiping God and Jesus while some are down the ditch of darkness.

I am referring to the power of Good and Evil, Light and Dark, Jesus and the Devil. When the Good is so apparent Evil is doing its best to stay afloat. When the Light is so bright Dark is seeping through. When Jesus is the focus Devil is equally active in the spotlight.

The term ‘catch 22’ gained currency as the title of a 1961 war novel by Joseph Heller, who referred to an Air Force rule whereby a pilot continuing to fly combat missions without asking for relief is regarded as insane, but is considered sane enough to continue flying if he does make such a request.

Throughout and post Easter period this year, more than usual, I have received unfavourable news about friends and clients who are struggling with taking their own lives. Thankfully they reached out calling for help which gave me opportunity to support them hence they lived with their own will and intervention.

This makes me wonder about the futile effort the Devil attempts. Is he sane or insane knowing he will not and cannot win this battle because of Jesus’ atonement on the cross and yet he goes to battle in full force?

Easter celebration is about the atonement of Christ died on the cross and rose again to fulfil the prophecy and conquer death. The divine exchange took place on the cross:

Jesus was punished that we might be forgiven;
Jesus was wounded that we might be healed;
Jesus was made sin with our sinfulness, that we might be made righteous with His righteousness;
Jesus tasted death for us that we might share His life;
Jesus was made a curse that we might receive the blessing;
Jesus endured our poverty that we might share His abundance;
Jesus bore our shame that we might share His glory;
Jesus endured my rejection that I might have His acceptance with the Father;
He was cut off that we might be joined to the Lord;
Our Old Man was put to death in Him that the New Man might come to life in us.

Call it power balance, two sides of a coin, Yin and Yang, opposite attraction, walking contradiction, call it whatever tickles your fancy, it is actually our choice and our choice only that saves our lives. Jesus has done it for all of us on the cross. It is only our own free will determines the course of our lives and future.

I have chosen life!

Don’t bring me flowers…

I often don’t understand why people love receiving flowers, especially a bunch of freshly cut flowers.

As somewhat a practical person, I much prefer a vegetable bunch, beautiful colour mix, thriving and ready to be consumed.

You may say that’s extreme. Ok then, let’s meet half way. How about pot plants or potted flowers in lieu of the freshly cut flowers? Don’t you think flowers belong to the garden beds? They look so at home and divine in their natural nursery.

I have had that preference for years, not remembering when did I actually start such weird preference.

Recently I traced back the times I did receive flowers. Sure enough, I finally realised the ‘Why’.

Firstly, in the second year I moved from Guangzhou to Sydney. I answered the door bell. There was Currier service delivery for me. After signing the receipt, I opened the box. There were a bunch of long stem red roses lying in the box. They didn’t make it all the way from Guangzhou to Sydney. They lain in the box, withered, lifeless. I counted there were 11 long stem red roses. I didn’t take them out of the box. I didn’t feel right to disturb them. I put the lid of the box back, neatly tied the ribbon again. It was like a burial. The 11 long stem red roses just lain in their coffin. The bundle of breakup.

Secondly, it was at the airport, I was greeted with a bunch of vibrant colour flowers. It was somewhat a surprise, at the same time, the dread feeling made my inside turned. What I discovered later prove my dread. The bundle of apology.

Lastly, I was at work. The office was busy as usual. I had a meeting out. When I returned, I was told there were flowers delivered to me. My heart sank. I reached the flowers, before I looked at the blooms, I read the card attaching to the bunch. I called the person who sent me the flowers, just in time to catch him out of another suicide attempt. The bundle of farewell.

There was grief relating to the receiving of these bunches of freshly cut flowers. The beautiful blooms, the fragrance, the artistic composition remind me of the tragedy moments in life.

The comfort is there are alternatives, be the bunch of fresh vegetables, be the potted flowers, or at its best, leave the blooms in the garden bed where there is life and pleasure to the viewers.

“It was June, and the world smelled of roses. The sunshine was like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.”
― Maud Hart Lovelace, Betsy-Tacy and Tib

Résumé

Adriana Sousa

Skills Summary

well presented, friendly and pleasant demeanor
specialised trades skills
custom fit client service
tailored and flexible approach to client request
excellent membership sales and cold canvassing skills
skilled in handling conflicts and challenging behaviours
continuous updating knowledge on market trends
attending regular health checkups and maintenance program
adhere to Workplace Health and Safety best practice
physically fit

Availability

24/7

Work History

2016 – Current
Coogee Bay Hotel, Sydney

2014 – 2016
Surf Paradise Holiday Resort, the Gold Coast

2000 – 2014
Potts Point Golden Apple, Sydney

1998 – 2000
Royal Portuguese Reading Room, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

 

My last good bye

When I go,

I wish my friends and love ones sit in a circle by the ocean.

I want you all to share your fondest memory of me.

You must share good food and celery sticks. I know this will be a hard ask.

You will listen to this playlist and let ‘We Are Loved’ sink into your hearts.

Que Sera Sera – Doris Day
Beautiful Ones – Suede
This Used to be My Playground – Madonna
China Blue – Julia Fordham
Sugar Hiccup – Cocteau Twins
What a Wonderful World – Louise Armstrong
Blessed be Your Name – Matt Redman
Mermaid – Sade