We don’t need much encouragement to ignite a thousand fireflies.
Talking about the weather is our way to keep the ambience lukewarm.
People talk about chemistry or destiny.
Though we both know that it’s the knowing which only dreamers know; the touching which only lovers fathom.
We don’t need much encouragement to spread a wild fire.
Being silent is what we can master to mask the need.
People talk about soul mates or twin flames.
For us, it’s just two people happily know each other but never feel the need to meet.
We don’t need much encouragement to burn up heaven.
Leaving without saying goodbye is the only way that we survive from each other.
People talk about love and affair.
We know too well that we choose neither.
So it’s just like we said it would be, forever perfectly perfect.
Tag: Feeling
How i feel
影恋 (Shadow)
零时
醒来
影子
吓我
一跳
但是
寂寞
让我
与它
亲近
Midnight
Awake
Spooked
By my shadow
But
Loneliness
Makes me
Stay close
Gaslighting
Hey, I want to talk with you about something.
Ok, am I in trouble?
No. Just something I am feeling and going through lately.
Alright. You want a hug or something?
I am ok for now. I feel you don’t show me you love me like you used to.
What do you mean? You are the most important person in my life.
I’ll give you some examples…(examples given)
What do you mean? You know I love you! That goes without saying.
It’s not what you said or not said. It’s your action, lack of action for a better word. I feel unloved. And I can’t work out why I know you love me but I don’t feel you love me. There’s this big descrepency.
What? You wanna be rid of me? It sounds like you are picking on me.
I want us to discuss and work through this because I love you and I want us to work out.
All I know is that you are finding fault with me. I love you. I just love you. I can’t believe that you question that.
I am not questioning. I am sharing with you how I feel. (It’s about me, not you.)
I am upset that you accused me of not acting like I love you. I think about you 24/7. Everything I do, I do for us, for our future. I can’t believe that you questioned me.
(sobbing inside)…I don’t know. That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to talk with you like adults without damaging our relationship.
There is not much to talk about. You either love me or not. I love you and that’s a fact.
I know you love me. But that’s not what I was confused about.
What are you confusing about then? I am not rich enough to send you flowers? I am not a successful man whom you are proud of? I am not a weak man who is afraid to stand up to you?
(Tears rolling down cheeks)…I don’t know. I don’t feel very well right now. I gotta go…
Lukewarm
She sits to watch
the epilogue of summer
pass by
Her pleated skirt waves
to the fading whistle
of the oceanic breeze
The memory of sunburn
sates the passion
she holds within
The frosty mornings
reminds her
the wisdom of waiting
And now
she grows frantic
in the lukewarm
fuzziness
She fights
Rain like this
brings incomprehensible
pain and sorrow
Day like this
all she wants to do
is to curl up in a ball
to sleep the time away
But she fights
to get up
get going
cos the thought of
breaking down
is far more
frightening
Pain
How come you see my pain?
Am I that obvious?
I live with pain for so long.
I recognise it like a kindred spirit.
How come you don’t show it?
You look happy.
I am happy.
I found a way to keep my pain at bay.
How come I don’t see what you see?
Perhaps you are blinded by anger.
Pain does that to us.
Silence
Movie
some memory is like
a movie that
we don’t want it
to end
so we just let it play
to one third
not to drift into sleep
but rather
holding our desire
to the next
and the next
never ending
Ephemeral
you said
love is ephemeral
all the past love you had
all the shes you loved
they evaporated before
you caught breath
like silken streams
sifted through
your every dream
left impressions of
pinscreen needles
monetarily disposed
Loss
I would never thought to
miss the kookaburra
woke me up at 5am
but I do today
along with other things
like
watching the fish swimming
in the water hyancinth filled
inground pond
reading by the crackling fire
under the shade cloth
the smell of lavender, rosemary,
basil and sage from the garden
Sunday roast
and the laughter
once a family gathering brought
although
they are not the things
made me feel like home
but today
just today
I do miss
them