How i feel
She sits to watch
the epilogue of summer
pass by
Her pleated skirt waves
to the fading whistle
of the oceanic breeze
The memory of sunburn
sates the passion
she holds within
The frosty mornings
reminds her
the wisdom of waiting
And now
she grows frantic
in the lukewarm
fuzziness
Rain like this
brings incomprehensible
pain and sorrow
Day like this
all she wants to do
is to curl up in a ball
to sleep the time away
But she fights
to get up
get going
cos the thought of
breaking down
is far more
frightening
How come you see my pain?
Am I that obvious?
I live with pain for so long.
I recognise it like a kindred spirit.
How come you don’t show it?
You look happy.
I am happy.
I found a way to keep my pain at bay.
How come I don’t see what you see?
Perhaps you are blinded by anger.
Pain does that to us.
some memory is like
a movie that
we don’t want it
to end
so we just let it play
to one third
not to drift into sleep
but rather
holding our desire
to the next
and the next
never ending
you said
love is ephemeral
all the past love you had
all the shes you loved
they evaporated before
you caught breath
like silken streams
sifted through
your every dream
left impressions of
pinscreen needles
monetarily disposed
I would never thought to
miss the kookaburra
woke me up at 5am
but I do today
along with other things
like
watching the fish swimming
in the water hyancinth filled
inground pond
reading by the crackling fire
under the shade cloth
the smell of lavender, rosemary,
basil and sage from the garden
Sunday roast
and the laughter
once a family gathering brought
although
they are not the things
made me feel like home
but today
just today
I do miss
them
