Dedicated to Misha
There is something therapeutic about showers.
For years I had fostered a habit of taking a shower once I walked through my front door coming home from a day’s work.
The shower took my day off and it was like walking out from a hussle bussle world into my sanctuary. It was almost like a sanctifying ceremony.
The shower centred me and set the calm tone of the evening. I often felt afresh and renewed.
When I met you, the first thing I did was adapting your “shower in the dark” daily routine.
There is something else all together when showering in the dark.
When your surrounding is dim. You would have to rely a lot more on your sense of touch. When showering in the dark, it intensifies the transition from day to night, chaos to calm, cluttered to clear mind, exhaustion to rejuvenation. It restores me and makes me whole again.
I put music on sometimes if the sound of the running water is mono. Music is also more impactful when listening to in the dark.
Showering in the dark sparks all my senses with pleasure stimulation. Spurge of energy flew out to carry me into the mysterious night dancing with the stars. I become alive!
The blues landed on me today
Even the sky is shedding tears
Sadness trapped inside me
Exhaling in vain
Where are you hiding, my cheery clouds?
I lost you in my dreams last night,
neither could I see you now.
The beginning of my melancholy days…
she collects your tears
washes away the blues
she sings you lullaby
sends sweetness to your dreams
she gives you rest
mends your broken heart
I know God is faithful and yet I still doubt.
Jacaranda blooms in spring gloriously on this patch of the earth.
In late Springs, I enjoy strolling down the street where they are all lining up and yearning each other. Romantic poems written about the magnificent jacaranda.
Yet, my inclination to jacaranda is God comes through by illustration of its splendour Spring after Spring overcame the nakedness in Winters.
“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin.”
God IS Faithful!
There you stood
I had wandered for a long time
finally I came back
There you are
standing tall and strong
riches in springs
sheltering in summers
splendid in autumns
withered in winters
watching over me
When I fix my gaze to you
I finally found
the centre of my world
When I was listening to Kazu singing ‘Miss you so much’, tears trickling down my cheeks. It reminded me of the heartache of young love.
Kazu reminds me of the sweet love I could have had in my youth. The raw wanting of each other and smitten with one another.
When I was in my early twenties I was so confused and suffered from such low self esteem regardless how attractive I was (according to friends). I was awkward and shy with a tendency to run from love. Although I had a group of friends (mostly boys) to hang out with, I was lonely and so alone inside in particular when surrounded by friends.
I was looking at me, the early twenties self, when I was listening to the song. I walked through the memory lane, wrapped my arms around Kazu’s neck, tippy toes to reach for a kiss…
This short poem was originally written in Chinese. I translated into English and hoping did not lose its original flavour.
My freedom is deep in the ocean
no disturbance to your world
I sing by
breathing out bubbles
Immersing in navy
without the blues
In such dim darkness
I saw light