Thesaurus of Blank Pages

When I asked Bree to write together, she generously shared with me a poem she’d already crafted. I wrote in with her effortlessly like a little leaf floating along a river.

It’s difficult to find the words some days
I’m a thesaurus full of blank pages
Trying to dig between the emptiness
old stories stare back at me
characters having a banter party
without me
There must be unfinished business with those ghosts of my past
They invade my waking moments
eating up my creativity
thieving all the phrases that used to live inside my mind

I gather my strength
focus my weary mind
willing the words to come back
Surely if I shake the past hard enough
they’ll release all they hold captive
and start falling like cherry blossoms covering every crevice and crack of the page


I walked the distance under the grey sky
Let the rain quieten my mind
The gumboots you gifted me
were meant to keep me dry
They were love to me

I knocked on your door
waited patiently
You opened eventually
and showed me contempt

I was so glad I came
I couldn’t run away from missing you
But I finally turned away from hatred

my steps were lightened
in my water filled gumboots


Under my tongue
lie unformed words
like a cluster of emotions
hidden in the silence
you so despise

is not enough
You demand reasons
for the way I am

Apology is not
a peace offering
that pleases you

I offer us peace
by biting my tongue
to set us free


Feeling, you fickle little thing!
How did you deceive a heart so strong to break?
How did you hide from the mountain of sadness
to portrait such a bright grin
each and every day?
How much do you give out to the world to see?
How long do you want to stay behind the bars
of your own tangled web?
Feeling, I thought you were my watch tower.
And you truned out to be the red flags
that I couldn’t see.


It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself.
But don’t allow youself drown in self-pity.

It’s ok to find comfort in others once in a while.
But don’t mistake it to be the only way out.

It’s ok to hate the offense others committed.
But don’t think for a while they should be hated too.

It’s ok to express anger.
But don’t let anger become your master.

Love is always the antidote.
Love saves one another.


You said my face said it all.

I frowned when I was really mad at you
without uttering any offensive words.
I raised my eyebrows when I was skeptical
instead of questioning your integrity.
I looked far away when I was sad
with no trace of tears.

I couldn’t argue with you.
I didn’t see my own expressions.

Photo by Candice Picard

Funny Mood

I feel blah
It is one of those days
that repeats itself
without any

This hour
I feel nothing
It is one of those states
that appears intermittently
without any

This time
I say something
It is one of those outpours
that shocks me
without any

By now
you must wonder
what I have said
Without any
let me tell you
I said
blah blah blah

Mechanical sex

Our bodies are pleasured
in mechanical precision
spiral from bangs and pops
to a flatliner

The short lived happy hormones
are still
lingering in our minds

Our spirits have lost
their joyous sparks
in our world of
lack of
self expression
self love

silhouette photo of man leaning on heart shaped tree
Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on

Shut down

my heart is pounding
while my body is in sleep mode
my mind is lucid in another state

my mind is considering to
command my body to move
in a toss and turn
while is also persuading itself to
leave the body alone

‘we need to slow down the heart rate’
can’t do it coz she is upset and stressed’
‘let’s tell her to relax and breathe’
‘she can’t coz she is blocking us’
‘true, that’s why her body shut down’
‘yea, at least she is safe’


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