Our bodies are pleasured
in mechanical precision
spiral from bangs and pops
to a flatliner
The short lived happy hormones
are still
lingering in our minds
Our spirits have lost
their joyous sparks
in our world of
lack of
self expression
and
self love
my heart is pounding
while my body is in sleep mode
my mind is lucid in another state
my mind is considering to
command my body to move
in a toss and turn
while is also persuading itself to
leave the body alone
‘we need to slow down the heart rate’
‘can’t do it coz she is upset and stressed’
‘let’s tell her to relax and breathe’
‘she can’t coz she is blocking us’
‘true, that’s why her body shut down’
‘yea, at least she is safe’
I would never thought to
miss the kookaburra
woke me up at 5am
but I do today
along with other things
like
watching the fish swimming
in the water hyancinth filled
inground pond
reading by the crackling fire
under the shade cloth
the smell of lavender, rosemary,
basil and sage from the garden
Sunday roast
and the laughter
once a family gathering brought
although
they are not the things
made me feel like home
but today
just today
I do miss
them
living in the gloomy dullness of life
I saw the piercing light
like the mobile phone notification flashing at night
walking through this unfamiliar tunnel
seeker of the illumination
stretch my arms to the walls
guiding my path in the pitch black
my fingers interpreting the rough fossils on the walls
they speak despair, torment, light and beauty
frame by frame these engraving paintings of art
I drench in all the emotions on offer
without sight
my kinesthetic fingers
reading them in wondrous
you are the light drawn me to the walk
your life I have experienced
in this tunnel of art
when I finally reach you
I will be undone, done and
completed!
Would your heart be mended
with my thousand kisses
to turn back the clock?
Would my spirit find you
just before you were beaten?
Would you know me when
I blew that dandelion to reach you?
Would you feel me
when my first wish
made by the birthday candles?
Would my arms outstretch enough
to fend off the cold regrets?
I have always been there with you
a rib missing her hollow cage!
I heard your last words
my heart is like a scatty cat
leaping to find
her tail got caught in the
propeller of the
exhaust pipe of
your moving heart
I don’t have much good memories of you
Yet you managed to discard things tying me to the few
Do boundaries mean anything to you
How could I trust when I am not respected
You are not a child
No use to throw tantrums to get what you want
Certainly no use to hide your misbehavings
Chance is for whom taking it seriously
Only when I am gone you will stand to be a man
I am the floating jetty
Anchoring between you and your full potential
