I know
I am locked out of heaven
fallen like the angels
My hiding place
a weathered house
by the meadow
Loneliness is the cold moon
in February
Frostbitten, my heart
pounding to keep warm
Anxiety is the sound
trapped deep inside
in shallow breaths
I need
a way out of
this daily attack
The texture of the canvas
pains my over-chewed fingers
The smell of the oil paint
calls me to create
Perhaps
there are wild flowers hidden
in the white and grey meadow
Maybe another pot of hot tea
I will find the anchor of my heartbeat
I know
I can bring the world
to my humble home
through my imagination
and the paintbrushes
Perhaps
I will reinstate heaven
to my heart’s desire
Tag: anxiety
Noise
sometimes
the world is so loud
I long for silence
to be my companion
early mornings
late nights
noises fall off
like withered petals
the world
is beautiful again
I don’t mind
counting breaths
hearing own thoughts
feeling exhaustion
sensing pain
stripped of
layers of interference
soaked in quietness
my soul is
revitalised
Help!!!
I live with
a house full of children.
They look at me
as I am the pack leader.
I am a submissive
peace loving loner
struggling to keep my sanity
in this turbulent sea.
Redeem
kitty tangled in yarn
no longer playful
fish trapped in net
no way home
head walked into spider web
no escape horror
chest tied with knots
no relief channel
only your smile
warrants reprieve
releases me from
nuisance
nightmare
torment
fear
Drop dead
I ran this marathon
with the intention of
completion in triumph.
I realised in midway
that was only
an aspirational goal.
I had no choice but
downgraded it to
successful completion
with torlerable suffering
of sprains and strains.
I was a wilted desert lily
so detrimentally dehydrated
yet was afraid of hyponatremia.
My greatest concern though
is the likelihood of
revitalisation after
a cardia arrest.
Sandalwood comb
there are days
my hair is overly stimulated
by the human static
meshing into a bird’s nest
wild birds moping around
needle hay prickles
it is for times like this
I need you
my sandalwood comb
to untangle me from
this painful annoyance
relaxing me
restoring my clarity
When in doubt
Thinking is neccessary
over thinking is dangerous
what ifs create doubt
when in doubt
I crumble
Your eyes
behold my doubt
untangle my thoughts
inject a pool of tranquillity
restore my vision
to see what you see
in me
the next time
I am in doubt
I will run to you
before falling
apart
Dumb
Unsettled – College Poems
night
creep to my bedside
vaguely
in the pale moonlight
open a book page
the blindness of my heart
omitting a tittle
grab a cigarette
missing the light
fall back to bed
drifting off
the torrential rain
hurry to be awake
looking in the mirror
the drenched me
escaping from the dream
defenceless
夜
悄悄落到床边
依稀里
看到月色下的苍白
执一本书
心盲了
读不进一个逗点
抽一根烟
找不到零星火点
倒头睡去吧
梦里有雨
赶快醒来
镜子里
从雨中走出的我
无处藏身
Broken
Pale face
I almost lost you
I cried over the diminishing sparks in your eyes
Pale face oh my fairest
I sobbed over the thought of losing you
Pale face
Let me hold you
Place your head on my chest
My heartbeats thumping your blood float
Multiplying your crimson stains
Pale face
I finally made it right here
Please, please don’t fade away
Flicker of Thoughts 