I walk the deep forest,
the long stretched ocean beach line,
the vast desert.
Because
I want to be small,
so small, almost invisible,
then
my troubles,
the turmoil of life,
the heart deep pain
will be vanishing
to nothing.
Tag: healing
My Beloved Past
Dear Heart: Expressions from within
How frightened were you when you witnessed your protectors’ laying hands on each other? How helpless were you when you realised you couldn’t defend grandma from grandpa’s beating? How scared were you when your friends were punched and robbed right before your eyes? Violence made you timid and quiet, and your screams came out in all the wrong places. You walked with a hunched back as a teenager because of the weight of suffering in silence.
You loved strangers, they posed less threats than people who were close to you. You preferred distance than intimacy. You felt safe with your loved ones when there was a wall between you. You dared not to let them into your heart otherwise they would break into pieces as history had proven itself. You were filled with longing and yet so alone.
I know you danced alone, sang alone and cried alone. I know the trees knew your sorrow, the river carried your sadness, and the sky held your secrets. Before you met your Maker, you gained life from your Maker’s creation. The wind raised you to be strong as a tree; the rain nourished you to be healthy as a flower; the sun shined upon you to be blessed as the favourite one.
It was your Maker who loved you and granted you the ability to love. You were held by your Maker’s hand and travelled back to those violent memories. You no longer faced them alone with weak knees, instead, you rose in your Master’s strength, with humility and compassion. You came to understand that violence was the outwork of human’s corruption, and there was nothing you did to cause that. You were created in your Master’s image, pure and blameless.
There is so much I want to say to you. There is so much absence I want to make up for. There is so much love I want to express. And yet, without all these, you stand tall and beautiful. What’s there left for me to say except ‘I am so proud of you.’?
Thank you for your existence. Thank you for reuniting with me. Thank you for making us whole again.
Love Always,
Now
Feeling Like Myself
I feel alive
With salt in my hair
Sand between my toes
Sunburn on my cheeks
I am free
Copy and Paste
Denise’s Six Sentence Story prompt – Paste
When his mother died, he didn’t know what to feel, grief or relief. A life of luxury, adventure and parties, endless parties with high end booze and drugs, now no more. Part of him felt lost, part of him felt liberated, from all the powerful, wealthy and filthy men, there was also this remaining part felt angry which was suppressed by numbness.
How do you suppose to feel that the woman who raised you was also the pimp, died before you could get an answer out of her, why did she hate you so much to do unspeakable things to you from a young age. The mother and son relationship was emotionless, copy and paste, repeatedly being showered with affections then thrown into another perpetrator’s den to endure the rejection.
His mother died, and his breakdown and healing have just begun.
People Do Get Healed
Three years ago
I had to call you your new name
Your birth name was buried with tragedy and trauma
There were times you slipped
when you felt the day was good enough to be yourself
Three years flew by
When you called me all of a sudden
I heard your name
like a chime in the wind
soft and clear
You told me you have found yourself
in ruin and rubbles
still beautiful and worthy
Healing came when you reconciled with your past
and saved the best for last
My eyes welled up
into a smile
‘People do get healed’
plastered my thoughts
Love Blooms
You brought me sunrise
When darkness covered my mind
Morning dew diluted last night’s tears
My lashes tasted sweet upon your lips
You tendered me with a crown of frangipanis
Within the distance of our breaths
A butterfly fluttered frantically
twining around the invisible bloom between us
Words
Writing with others are both inspiring and fun. I hope you enjoy this collaboration between me and Bree. Reading Bree’s work is like walking into her garden in every season. Secret Thoughts Within
An exhausted heart, asking no more for rain A shameful shadow deserving no reprieve from disdain A drip, running down from the heavens to my soul A refreshment, replenishing the drought within me A book, doing just that to rescue me A story, unfolding before my eyes making my heart sing again
Earthing
lie down on the warm grass
gazing upward to the canopy
spin my palms from the centre
to the edge of the horizon
dig my toes through the green
Mother Earth
give me strength
give me energy
give me healing
give me courage
to carry on
to be human
to be whole
Same But Different
Tears
like pearls of a broken necklace
fall on rosy cheeks
scatter along with messy emotions
stain a perfect Spring day
Rain
like tears of a broken heart
fall on mossy grass
run along with mucky roots
prepare for the perfect growth
Wound
I know there is a wound left
close but not open
I know it is there
but it does not hurt
It has to be very very quiet
when I notice the shadow of it
I only know it is there
becuase you have been nursing it
there is so much care you give
it is oozing out love
from that wound
Flicker of Thoughts 