Sand

The cold coffee is keeping me company
as I sit watching the waves rolling in.

I am tired of the long nights with
an empty spot accentuated by the cool moon light.

All the heartaches exhausted my fractured mind.
My eye sockets are hollow and brittle
disregard the flirtatious breeze.

I don’t know why I am so chained up
by the past like a submissive slave.
When the master has been long gone,
I keep the pain and torture to preserve
pleasure.

I have been through tubes of smudging mascaras.
Drought became my heart’s desire and daily companion.

My ailing body no longer withstands
the changeable seaside weather.
Fine sand finds its way into
the window of my emptiness.
I cannot tell is it a rock or a precious mineral.

The irritaion imitates the pain to give pleasure.
My eyes well up and my soul returns.

The moment of departure

My heart departed
After soaking up your unkind words
Like wine turned into vinegar
The sun has been warm throughout spring, summer, even autumn
Below zero is the depth of winter
Where my tears run into icy poles
The place I used to call home where I hibernated throughout winter
Now wandering with my subdued heart
Home is where my heart is
I beg for shelter for my soul

An Oyster’s Lament

copulating in a big city
with wealth, envious climate and limelight
parasites to city waste and engine oil

not worthy as treasure
nor tasteful as delicacy
nor beautiful as decoration

a life meaningless
lack of joy
missing its calling

what more does it take to lose heart
soul
and spirit
to crash all
still lost
but not found

Emptiness

let the music fall on my vacated mind

let memory flood through my being
your puppy eyes and a soft smile

let the film play each of your faces
just how I remember them
invading me with your every touch, every word and every heatbeat you stirred in me

there was so much more than the music you shared with me

let my tears fall in this vacant space
bits and pieces of you fill my heart

Ebb n flow (pm)

tick tock hurry
kitty catty
tea time buddy
no care no worries
kneading crochet blanket
yes master
your servant is ready

street empty
deafening quiet
not a soul wandering
chapter 5 is waiting
reading or tapping
why don’t I just fold it
to a nap time sanctuary

droopy eyelids
fluttering moth
into a world of slumbering
desert ploughing
mana catching
crispy lips searching dewdrops
for surviving

ouch!
lips bleeding
stop scrubbing
hot and bothered painstaking
then the thundering
fitfully awaken
it’s kitty purring

oh my!
neighbour’s cooking
woofing down kiddies’ laughter
winking to my walls
mate we’ve got this
dinner table for 1
windy pops and ceiling stares

the door chimes ringing
who can it be now
the evening glow edging in
table for 2
rosemary lamp chops
tomato basil relish
no spirit no wine

to the sobering mind
dance with 4 walls watching
sing with kitty listening
love as hurt never left
the black velvet cape
dragging across the empty room
poof!

Ebb n flow (am)

chatty birds
sleeps taut eyes
fairy floss head
stale breath
sand paper throat
cocoon in toasty warm bed
avoidance of the day

flapping eyelids
playing toesies
pouty lips
balloony bladder
shuffling limbs
shite!!!
chilly day

seedy bread
buttering the sky
cinnamon coffee
pull me into the light
the sun is shining
gotta start the day
somehow

stewing in nothingness
a hair past a freckle
the heat itching my skin
right!
vacuum, laundry, washingup
all for a sweaty body
sinking in the tub

blowing bubbles
muffle sound
floating
the world is calm
hiding has its limit
fading is long suffering
so as life

Withering

( painting by Remigiusz Dobrowolski )

I am sitting in my worn cane chair

at my grainy raw timber desk

facing this window of lost youth

hoping to glimpse the scenery

before the dusk sinking into the night.

My hair is wiry and thin

salt and pepper without the spice.

My trembling, scaly hands raising to my skull.

My strawly fingers running along the scrawny sockets

to the elongated pointed nose

to the cold shrivaled lips.

They are the same track your hands and lips travelled.

Your faces are haunting me outside the window,

one by one, your faces of disappointment, hatred, wailing, brokenhearted, unforgiving…

playing screen by screen as the scenery of

my only connection to the outside world.

Here I am, in confinement

where I confessed all my wrongdoings, misbehaving, betrayals, poisonous venom.

I repaid all these with my youth, my solitary, my self inflicted torment

until I become a bag of bones, dust to dust, ashes to ashes…