Leaving means I love you, but I love myself more.
春天
我踩着绒雨
向山里走去
脚下的黄泥
混着树的翠绿
沉淀着天的灰蓝
故人的墓地
栖息在满地的黄菜花
我舍不得扒开
这么娇美的装饰
就如你出嫁时的抚媚
你洞房的红烛还在弦乐舞蹈
我按住竹篮里的沉檀香和衣纸
害怕美好的回忆被打扰
更怕我的眼泪勾出安息的你
In spring,
I walked on the velvety rain and headed for the mountains.
The yellow mud under my feet mixed with the green of the trees and the gray-blue of the sky.
The grave of an old friend was covered with yellow flowers.
I couldn’t bear to tear them apart.
Such a beautiful decoration reminded me of your wedding day.
The red candles in your bridal chamber were still dancing with string music.
I pressed the sandalwood incense in the bamboo basket.
I was afraid that the beautiful memories would be disturbed.
I was even more afraid that my tears would evoke you who was resting in peace.
Magnolias broke out at below zero, blushed, hung on naked branches.
For one long year, half heartedly, I accepted defeat over the quarter you bet wearing a devilish grin.
With satisfaction, you drew an infinity on my wrist with wet finger, marked the beginning of a decade’s promises.
A dozen yellow roses wilted on the teak table where conversations, laughter and passion are still lingering.
The bare magnolia tree, shamefully, stretches out towards the winter sun.
They made history relevant by graffiti on heritage walls.
Rilkean Heart by Cocteau Twins
(*Rainer Maria Rilke)
Rilkean heart I looked for you
To give me transcendent experiences
To transport me out of self and aloneness
And alienation into a sense of
One-ness and connection ecstatic and magical
I became a junkie for it
I came looking for the next high
And I’m sorry
I’ve been putting the search on the wrong place
I understand that you’re confused
Feeling overwhelmed
Well that’s a feeling state from then
The reality, with cleaning up my emotion of life
And I’m getting in touch with myself
I’m beginning to ground myself
In my own sense of being as an entity
One entity on the planet
Becoming truly self-reliant and become connected
With something beyond me
That is where I have to go
I’m so sorry
I’ve been putting the search on the wrong place
You’re lost and don’t know what to do
But that’s not all of you
That’s your reality today
And that is all okay
I understand that you’re confused,
Feeling overwhelmed
Well that’s a feeling state from then
The reality
You’re lost and don’t know what to do
But it’s not all of you
That’s the reality today
And now it’s all okay
I understand that you’re confused,
Feeling overwhelmed
Well that’s a feeling state from then
The reality
Rilkean heart……
I wanted to work
I really did
Earning a living
Putting bread on table
I desired to work
I turned up for my new job
At lunch time
I got nervous
Eating two pieces of white bread
With butter and jam
The last straw
Was by the watercooler
They asked about my recent holiday
I freaked out
Sweating profusely
Embarrassed
I fled the building
I wanted to work
I really did
I tried and tried
Still failed the 7th time
Sitting on my porch
Pating my dog
She will be due soon
I desire to work
To feed her and her cute puppies
I really do
This piece of writing is in response to Denise’s six sentence story prompt word – Dream.
I want to ride a cloud to your bedside
and make it into a silky soft pillow
for your overthinking head to rest on.
I want to sing love songs into your dream
of thousands of sunflowers in Tuscany.
In response, you flicker your sickle moon lashes,
mumbling an affectionate language only we know.
Even the nightingale stops singing and listen.
Touch-me-nots open without shame
waiting to hear the interpretation.
The secret garden comes alive.
Meet me in Magaya
on the hottest summer day
in your yellow sundress
and fedora straw hat
Let’s cool down
by the windows
watching the ferries
coming into Paros Bay
while sipping Sangria
and Watermelon Agua Fresca
We are
imoblised by
our assumptions
and
imprisoned by
our own limitation.
The winter morning frost
clear the runway for you
to parade on the bare branches
Magnolia!
You set the trend
by opening the Spring show
Flicker of Thoughts 