I wanted to go to the beach
let the salty air tire me out
I wanted to hear through the seashell
your even breathing in the night
I wanted to cry to the ocean
let her strong arms comfort me
instead
I lied in bed suffer through a migraine
let the pain overcome me
I went to watch the Lion King
dozed off in children’s munching sound
I cooked butter chicken and mulled wine
let the meal speak for itself –
How did I get here?
lazy Sunday noon
bathe our limbs in the sun
on a checkered picnic rug
our giggles grow into
uncontrollable hysterics
two timid souls
dismantled by
the chemistry of laughter
behind the chuckles
there is throaty longing
the childlike energy
flows between breaths
try to
catch the uncatchable
contain the uncontainable
avoid the inevitable
how often
we let loose
let our guard down
let another please us
in the most
innocent form
of encounter
I moved country, continent, hemisphere
I fit my life into a suitcase
I came naked
I will go naked
It is one suitcase too much
memory fades
happy or sad
we live momentarily
eventually memory loss
what do I hold dearly
will I recognise
the you and me once been
in the shadowbox
chained around my neck
the picture will be so blur
in my failing mind
the shadow box will be so worn out
by the fiddle of my fingers
you perhaps will be long gone
with my smile imprinted to
your soul
How many times have you picked up
my suitcase from the airport carousel?
They are exactly the times we spent
our sweet honeymoons.
When they ended, we returned to our independent lives.
People comes and goes like a revolving door.
Not one distracts us from each other
for each journey ends
each planning for another honeymoon starts.
The circle of life manifests in our love
like children enjoy the merry-go-round.
whenever I meet a psychologist
I feel uneasey about being psychoanalysed
especially you do that to inmates
I was on my best behaviour
until you cracked jokes
and shared about your missionary trip
sharing the same birthday
is no coincidence
you are the impeccable psycho psych
I am the airy fairy day dreamer
there is nothing we hide from each other
over 2 glasses of wine
She
an only child grew up with cats
a city girl came from the subtropical rain
with lavender scent among the dragon ferns
He
a lone man curled up on a couch
immersing in books and writing stories
sipping black coffee with spices
They
watch people and clouds to pass time
tread through the powdery rain in Vans
reassemble Vincent’s starry night in jigsaw puzzle
under the autumn silvery moon
hedgehogs hide by the vegetable patch
melancholic harmonica playing softly
back to back interviews
6 had been done and my brain screamed exhaustion
there is always something about the number 7
there you were
professionally groomed
impeccable performance
a shining young talent
with a compassionate heart
respect from a perfectionist to another
since day dot
I have never told you I admire
your earnest effort put in speed dating
I have never told you I am grateful
you accepted my machine gun bullets no filter comments
I always remember I told you
Benny is a crossbreed
while Milo is a border collie
I have never shared with you
I cherish our friendship beyond
the dog park and coffee catchups
fishnet stockings, denim skirt,
checkered shirt and an enthusiastic smile
wherever she goes she takes a fun house with her
others are living the life
she is life itself
on a park bench we lazed about to share
vino rosso e formaggio
watching the blanket of flying foxes take off
to forage for food at dusk
she converted me to a Sydneysider
I had two dreams
never thought they would come true
for I did not know one led to another
I had lived in a slumber for so long
never knew I held the key to these dreams
so I was stuck on the detour to nowhere
I was dying of exhaustion
desperately seeking a spring
to continue on the winding road
at the beginning of the 365 day journey
everyday life aroused no emotions in me
all I could manage was
to do the only thing that would
bring me relief to this numbness
I poured out my daydreams on paper
I am halfway to the end of the 365 day journey
the tingling in my brain
the restless finger tapping
the nourishment from the spring
living my dreams day and night
at the end of the 365 day milestone
skipping down the dream pathway
the key around my neck
to the sunlit conscious tomorrows
he asked her to promise a lie of a life time
she said
‘I will not lie about a promise I will not keep’
understandably
he chooses giving up over surrender
understandably
she believes the truth will set her free
Flicker of Thoughts 