The night overstays your company
You know the day will break again
if you refuse
to give yourself away to despair
The lover
who
wraps herself around your throat
digs her claws in your arteries
laughs at your virility
injects lead into your feet
claims you to be hers
while
fails to admit she is the trespasser
Photo taken by Cassa Bassa at Collaroy beach, Sydney Northern beaches, Australia
she shouted to the receptionist
threatened to hack us all in pieces
she screamed those words out
in a foreign tongue
her neck flushed with red patches
her hair had gone messy
her eyes were fueled with fire
in our shared language
I tried to de-escalate her rage by
offering her a cool drink
while clearly expressed to her
the options of
the police or the mental health team
if she was unable to cease screaming
she sat down
showed me photos of a hole
in her ceiling
and the water marks
resembling the world map
she told me
for six years
she have lived with ceiling leakage
for nine months
she haved stared at the hole
in the ceiling every night
she wept
for her man left her
the hole in the ceiling
is a constant reminder of
how her heart was broken
and it seems beyond repair
she is a tenant
complaining about
a repair and maintenance issue
she is a woman
suffering great despair
what is on the surface
is just the tip of
the iceberg
grieving is a process
I wish
it was a project
with limited scopes
budgeted emotional investment
realistic deliverables
mitigable mental health risk
achievable in a foreseeable future
grieving is being powerless
of letting go
of the loss
The cold coffee is keeping me company
as I sit watching the waves rolling in.
I am tired of the long nights with
an empty spot accentuated by the cool moon light.
All the heartaches exhausted my fractured mind.
My eye sockets are hollow and brittle
disregard the flirtatious breeze.
I don’t know why I am so chained up
by the past like a submissive slave.
When the master has been long gone,
I keep the pain and torture to preserve
pleasure.
I have been through tubes of smudging mascaras.
Drought became my heart’s desire and daily companion.
My ailing body no longer withstands
the changeable seaside weather.
Fine sand finds its way into
the window of my emptiness.
I cannot tell is it a rock or a precious mineral.
The irritaion imitates the pain to give pleasure.
My eyes well up and my soul returns.
I am a zen temple
serene and spiritual
open myself for fervent worshipers
who would think
you brought a pry bar
to remove nails
which you thought are
bonding me in concrete
I trusted you to make me whole
but not to break me
who would know
you two used chisels
to carve my perfect form
into damaged sculpture
I am your flesh and blood
I have mistaken your love
to be unconditional
who would foresee
a zen temple
demolished by trusted followers
in the name of
self righteousness
walking on the pale sandy beach
spotting treasures in the sparkling sun
enough to whisk away the pensive mind
submerging in such shimmer
daydreaming the clouds to be
a motion picture of happy memories
until the edge of a rock or
a broke shell
cutting underneath her foot
the clouds turn into a violent swirl
brown bleeding out into the muted sand
from a place of torment
empty drink bottles
a monster broken capillary face
wild eyes flaming
savage shaking of a slim form
empty promises
an innocent blood drained cheeks
fearful stare vacating
prey falling off an arrow
how many times those cuts
drove her to the dark shadow
ignoring the brightly shining sun
gossamer waves reflecting off the water
old blood fading away into the saline foam
like the broken shells
in mock dismay
meditate in the breezy quietness
brushing the heartstrings
the fragility of body
the scars of the mind
caution in expression
it’s never your intention
tiptoeing around me
still wigwag me into pieces
in a panic
hauling me all up
in vain
leaving a trail of
Blood stains
from frantic steps
席座风自何处
拂动心弦几许
患薄体态自何伤
慎言纳止
君本无心
久经触碰
战战兢兢
碎我一地
拾全
无望
及足
何
趾
My heart departed
After soaking up your unkind words
Like wine turned into vinegar
The sun has been warm throughout spring, summer, even autumn
Below zero is the depth of winter
Where my tears run into icy poles
The place I used to call home where I hibernated throughout winter
Now wandering with my subdued heart
Home is where my heart is
I beg for shelter for my soul
copulating in a big city
with wealth, envious climate and limelight
parasites to city waste and engine oil
not worthy as treasure
nor tasteful as delicacy
nor beautiful as decoration
a life meaningless
lack of joy
missing its calling
what more does it take to lose heart
soul
and spirit
to crash all
still lost
but not found
I am capable of dark
when faced with your obsession
I’ve never promised you love
let love not be the string that weights down your soul
Your promise of one and only and eternity
shattered by the wild flowers lingered around your lonely heart
If I were the marrow of your bones
you so willingly broken for
If I were the air of your life
you so desperately gasping for
Let your cheating deceive me
Bury your confession to rot your conscience
Why treated me with contempt
choked me with your truth
My life was not ruined
instead, was on a marry-go-around
‘he can’t be trusted’ demon sound
tossed me from my peaceful island
each and every time
Now you prostrate before me
with a dagger twisted in your gut
pleading forgiveness for your obsessed soul’s release
My eyes on you are empty windows
Your gushing blood on my fingers like frost
I am capable of dark
when faced with your obsession
Flicker of Thoughts 