Frozen

she was a sunflower
turned her back to below zero
gave her all to the sun
whenever she bloomed
she radiated life and enthusiasm

today
the relentless frost
finally defeated her
a scrunched up sunflower
hung by a noose
her spirit was crushed
with no mercy

– In loving memory of A who lost her fight with PTSD on 25 October 2019

 

(Two Sunflowers – Painting by Van Gogh 1887)

Droplets of kisses

the ocean mist
descents on my skin
like
you caress me with
droplets of kisses

INFJ

she is
1% of
the population

she is
a major outlier
falls outside
the data fences

she is
the wind
that slips through
your fingers

she is
a masterpiece
fits only for
gallery display

she is
as warm as
the sunshine
as cold as
an ice sculpture

Play kit

she put her lace-up
thigh high boots on
as the final touch
before leaving for
the special call

she swiped in
walked straight to
the plush velvet bed

she layed out meticulously
gas mask
ball gag
cuffs
ball lock
flogger set
strap-on

and kept
the digital scale
in her play kit
underneath the bed

he was a special one
to her
she almost loved him
in her
faint conscience

she completed the
2 hour assignment
he was exhausted
and satisfied

instead of
feeling disgusted
as usual
this time
she felt
a sense of beauty
glancing over
his vulnerable
shriveled body
a dear little lamb
unawared of its fate

it was time
for her pleasure
and gratification
she took her time

Chopin op 25 no.1 on repeat
crimson spots and sprays
raw primal smell
metalic light salty
the latex gloves
stopped her kinaesthesia
she masterfully
dissected the lamb

she pulled out the scale
weighted
the heart
then liver
then kidneys
she bloomed
an orgasmic
smile

Internal voice

I saw you holding her hands.
The way you looked at her
spoke volumes.
It was so loud that
my thought would never
be heard.

I know I love you.
If my head says otherwise
my heart betrays me.

I am left wanting
the most idyllic place
in your heart.
Only echoes
reverberating in my
new found reality.

Through your lens

Is that really me?
I have lost that smile
for a decade.
For the first time
in a long time,
I look ahead without
the fear of sunset.
It is all because
the safety I feel
through your lens.