Cuts

walking on the pale sandy beach
spotting treasures in the sparkling sun
enough to whisk away the pensive mind

submerging in such shimmer
daydreaming the clouds to be
a motion picture of happy memories

until the edge of a rock or
a broke shell
cutting underneath her foot

the clouds turn into a violent swirl
brown bleeding out into the muted sand
from a place of torment

empty drink bottles
a monster broken capillary face
wild eyes flaming
savage shaking of a slim form

empty promises
an innocent blood drained cheeks
fearful stare vacating
prey falling off an arrow

how many times those cuts
drove her to the dark shadow
ignoring the brightly shining sun

gossamer waves reflecting off the water
old blood fading away into the saline foam
like the broken shells
in mock dismay

Impression of you

with my intuitive detecting eyes
scrolling through your photo gallery

the vulnerable eyes
immersed in deep thought
antient and karmic
with a hint of
primal longing
gravitating
captivating
consuming

time stands still
the clock chokes in the
curiosity infused air

a surge of
warm
gooey
puppy love
casting its net on me

i am cacooned in your
inescapable presence

III – Kiss Collection

A well of emotions
saturated my words
they go soggy and weak
only my lips can express
my gratitude to you
my beloved

Don’t bring me flowers…

I often don’t understand why people love receiving flowers, especially a bunch of freshly cut flowers.

As somewhat a practical person, I much prefer a vegetable bunch, beautiful colour mix, thriving and ready to be consumed.

You may say that’s extreme. Ok then, let’s meet half way. How about pot plants or potted flowers in lieu of the freshly cut flowers? Don’t you think flowers belong to the garden beds? They look so at home and divine in their natural nursery.

I have had that preference for years, not remembering when did I actually start such weird preference.

Recently I traced back the times I did receive flowers. Sure enough, I finally realised the ‘Why’.

Firstly, in the second year I moved from Guangzhou to Sydney. I answered the door bell. There was Currier service delivery for me. After signing the receipt, I opened the box. There were a bunch of long stem red roses lying in the box. They didn’t make it all the way from Guangzhou to Sydney. They lain in the box, withered, lifeless. I counted there were 11 long stem red roses. I didn’t take them out of the box. I didn’t feel right to disturb them. I put the lid of the box back, neatly tied the ribbon again. It was like a burial. The 11 long stem red roses just lain in their coffin. The bundle of breakup.

Secondly, it was at the airport, I was greeted with a bunch of vibrant colour flowers. It was somewhat a surprise, at the same time, the dread feeling made my inside turned. What I discovered later prove my dread. The bundle of apology.

Lastly, I was at work. The office was busy as usual. I had a meeting out. When I returned, I was told there were flowers delivered to me. My heart sank. I reached the flowers, before I looked at the blooms, I read the card attaching to the bunch. I called the person who sent me the flowers, just in time to catch him out of another suicide attempt. The bundle of farewell.

There was grief relating to the receiving of these bunches of freshly cut flowers. The beautiful blooms, the fragrance, the artistic composition remind me of the tragedy moments in life.

The comfort is there are alternatives, be the bunch of fresh vegetables, be the potted flowers, or at its best, leave the blooms in the garden bed where there is life and pleasure to the viewers.

“It was June, and the world smelled of roses. The sunshine was like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.”
Maud Hart Lovelace, Betsy-Tacy and Tib

II – Kiss Collection

Her lips search for his
in the confidence
she has just befriended his cheeks

She is confident
there is more than friendship
she will find
when she finally
meet her matching
soft secret

A poem

A reminder pop up on my screen
A check in call is due
A habit of mine
Always check the file notes
A flash of subject line ‘tenancy vacated’
An instinct to open the note
‘Advised by tenant’s sister tenant deceased’
Attila is dead!

A flush of memory of our last check in
A stroke he had
A sequence of specialist appointments
Anxious about his puberty son
Apologise for not coming to the scholarship ceremony
A good wish for my beauty in slurry speech

A last good bye
An end to the line
Attila and me
A client to his advisor

A prayer said to his son
Alone in this world fatherless
Acne face
Angry displaced
A lost sheep
Alchemist in the making is
All I prayed

Sweater – College Poems

right after she farewelled campus life
she packed a shoulder bag
with his sweater tight around the strap
got on the first coach
without looking back
salty drips swallowed in an empty stomach

she woke up in another city
launched herself into hustle bustle
isn’t it how old memory fades
with new scenery created
if only autumn lasts for 6 months

sense of smell may linger a life time
it wasn’t a calculated risk to
tight that sweater
it was part of her too anxious to let go

first snowflakes falling from the neon sky
one lands on her lips
she holds up his sweater

catching the rolling tears
warming her frozen cheeks

she misses him

 

刚告别了校园生活
整理行装
打结了他的毛衣
速上了长途汽车
不堪回顾
咸咸的眼泪在空腹里浸淹

苏醒在陌生的城市
一劲投入繁忙中
过去不就让它过去
新地新风景
只愿秋天长半年

气味有时一生难忘
并非计算过有多冒险
结上毛衣
只因依依不舍

雪片在霓虹灯下飘落
停留在唇边
把他的毛衣拥起

接着下滚的热泪
暖起冰凉的颊骨

想他了

Perilous – College Poems

when you are trapped in your maze
keep a smidgen of sensitivity
fathom my fear boiling under the surface
you know my entangled rationale
unfit to guide you to the exit
and your silted decadent
is drowning my brokenness

当你心绪停滞时
是否愿意保留一束敏感
体味我欲动的狂恐
你明知道我纠缠的理智
无法为你拨开心锁
而你内心淤积的颓废
纠将淹没我的破落

Fragile – College Poems

meditate in the breezy quietness
brushing the heartstrings
the fragility of body
the scars of the mind
caution in expression

it’s never your intention
tiptoeing around me
still wigwag me into pieces

in a panic
hauling me all up
in vain
leaving a trail of
Blood stains
from frantic steps

席座风自何处
拂动心弦几许
患薄体态自何伤
慎言纳止
君本无心
久经触碰
战战兢兢
碎我一地
拾全
无望
及足