Dear Heart: Expressions from within
How frightened were you when you witnessed your protectors’ laying hands on each other? How helpless were you when you realised you couldn’t defend grandma from grandpa’s beating? How scared were you when your friends were punched and robbed right before your eyes? Violence made you timid and quiet, and your screams came out in all the wrong places. You walked with a hunched back as a teenager because of the weight of suffering in silence.
You loved strangers, they posed less threats than people who were close to you. You preferred distance than intimacy. You felt safe with your loved ones when there was a wall between you. You dared not to let them into your heart otherwise they would break into pieces as history had proven itself. You were filled with longing and yet so alone.
I know you danced alone, sang alone and cried alone. I know the trees knew your sorrow, the river carried your sadness, and the sky held your secrets. Before you met your Maker, you gained life from your Maker’s creation. The wind raised you to be strong as a tree; the rain nourished you to be healthy as a flower; the sun shined upon you to be blessed as the favourite one.
It was your Maker who loved you and granted you the ability to love. You were held by your Maker’s hand and travelled back to those violent memories. You no longer faced them alone with weak knees, instead, you rose in your Master’s strength, with humility and compassion. You came to understand that violence was the outwork of human’s corruption, and there was nothing you did to cause that. You were created in your Master’s image, pure and blameless.
There is so much I want to say to you. There is so much absence I want to make up for. There is so much love I want to express. And yet, without all these, you stand tall and beautiful. What’s there left for me to say except ‘I am so proud of you.’?
Thank you for your existence. Thank you for reuniting with me. Thank you for making us whole again.
Love Always,
Now
Flicker of Thoughts 