Is it all too late

Photo taken by Cassa Bassa at Sydney Harbour Bridge, Australia

 

Our backyard is burning
Our conscience is trapped in a furnace
There is no Daniel to intercede for us
There aren’t angels to our rescue
We are sitting with our transgression
against our mother earth

We have been wallowing in the luxury of
blue sky, calm rivers, flourishing forest
while
sweeping our sin under the poisoned land
committing more in the name of economic growth

Our backyard is on fire
Is it all too late
for us to escape from our wrongdoing
when
pleading tears dry out
before God can hear our cry
to send rain

A bright star

She sieved trough the rumours
like red dust between her fingers
trampled them deep under her bare feet
once ran wild on the land
by the sea
where she echoed her dreams to the void
at night
set sail to the edge of the horizon
waited patiently for
the break of dawn
even the brightest star in the sky
suffered through the night

 

– dedicated to Tara Caribou

 

Letter to self

5 year old Cassa
quiet and reserved
keep singing in the shower
nobody needs to know

13 year old Cassa
still an ugly duck
keep wearing boy’s uniforms
nobody gives a fuck

18 year old Cassa
boys are gross
books smell much better
write your raw heart out
spill it on pages
who cares if
they never ever get read

21 year old Cassa
good on you
pack your bag
go as far as you can
chase a place called home
for your unsettled heart

30 year old Cassa
I know you are tired
sitting with your feelings
is never comfortable
if you don’t
they will be burried further
and the scars become deeper
it will take longer to heal

40 year old Cassa
you are exhausted
aren’t you love
there is a way out
you know love
you just need to
take the first step
then the rest follows

50 year old Cassa
you are laughing at yourself
always taking things so seriously
remember the 5 year old you
sang in the shower
when you first found your voice
keep that childlike free spirit
and innocence
life is funny, laughable
and joyous

60 year old Cassa
slow down
no one is watching
and competing with your vigour
the kids understand
that you can’t catch up
with the grandkids
and he is even slower than you
so relax Cassa

70 year old Cassa
by all means
glue to him
just like when you first met
be the couch potatoes together
let him rub your feet
give all your best
in a killer blow job
cos any day
could be your last
why not live in climax
everyday

12 years

That day
Sydney was hit by the hail storm
the establishment was quiet
the sheets were white and clean
the candles were burning as usual
sending out choking artificial fragrance
the room
was claustrophobic as usual
she pulled out the Target catalog
looking through the baby supplies

who would think
she fell pregnant on the job
and
she hid it well
to keep working
to keep saving
towards her freedom

she really enjoyed the peace and respite
but
good time didn’t last
the warm liquid gushing between her legs
the red ink spreading on the snow white sheets

Mama Mama! She called out for help
the scrawny faced woman rushed in
then
rushed her to the hospital
she had blood on her hands
just didn’t want to have more blood
soaked into her soul

The birth of her baby boy
marked the return of her freedom
12 years
she suffered in silence
without identity
without freedom
without hope

She named him Isaac
for her heart was filled with laughter
being delivered from her captivity

Who endures more

the cold and lonesome train track
lies in wait for her lovers
only to pass by
no tears no aches
for a steel and iron heart
just allowing them
to trample all over her
gone and returned
again and again
the wear and tear on them
always
the train wrecks
the track lies in wait
as always
without a heartbeat

The river springs to the east

How I wish
love is like catching the subway
There is always a next one when you miss this one
The in between time is perfect for adjusting the mood
without overthinking who is to be blamed
But we all know too well
lost love is like a river springs to the east
we can never quite stop the flow of sorrow
until it floods our sleepless nights

 

如果感情象乘地铁那样多好
错过了一趟可以赶乘下一趟
之间可以收拾情绪做好准备
不用守株待兔那样傻傻地等
可惜感情却如一江东流春水
愁绪滔滔不绝浸湿无眠之夜

Poetry Submission Open @ Raw Earth Ink

Poetry Submission Open

Submissions are open for the Poetry Anthology “The Poets Symphony” till 31 January 2020.

Some of you may not blog for publishing, me included. But hey! It is about likeminded people working on a worthwhile literature project.

I have submitted a couple pieces, whether they get published or not, I had so much fun and enthusiasm in creating them.

with love and respect,

Cassa Bassa

Numbness

The Living Poetry Prompt

 

I’ve done my neck in
too much jigsaw puzzling it seems
The agony doesn’t stop me
you know
the holiday commitments
the cook, the chauffeur, the cleaning lady

Mild pain killers
barely scratches the surface
of an acute nerve pain
I am on edge with a contorted face
matching the crooked spine

The kids have been splashing in the pool
for hours
Guests start waking up
from the lunch coma
The late afternoon sun
mellows to a warm glow

It seems to be fitting
to play cafe del mar
while
I am making caipiroska cocktails
tasting is a must
for an amateur bartender
It takes at least three
to make the fourth one perfect

Everybody loves their drink
is it their smile
or the festival spirit
I am floating
without pain

I finally can see my life again
playing in slow motion
My heart rate slows down
My neck is no longer stiff
The music is fading into the household noise
The guests are happy I guess
their faces are blooming
Me?
I am ok I guess
in such pain free numbness
How else can it be?

2019

2019 has been a year of grief and loss. Forever is a word I shiver on when I hear it because I experienced the fragility of life.

Time is the greatest healer. Most of the time I feel I am healed until I broke down in tears when:
drove auto pilot to my old house which is no longer mine;
caught myself forgetting to revert to my maiden name;
had the urge to share news with my best friend whose voice I no longer hear;
curled up in bed where my cat once cosily slept.

Then I come here to WordPress, a place I found many sad people come and celebrate being sad. This community has been helping me through my grief and loss. My load is shared, my sadness is heard, my heart is touched. I am accepted and good enough.

It is through trials and tribulations, God’s grace comes through. I have found hope in a hopeless state; I have formed deep friendship in a desolate place; I have found love with a wounded heart. So in the end, it is all worth it.

Although suffering is very much a lonely thing to endure, life indeed is a journey better to journey with others than alone.

My special thanks go to the following fellow bloggers. You have all brought positivity into my life and enriched my creativity.

with love and respect,

Cassa Bassa