You are enough

I was sentenced to life imprisonment by love.

I came to the end of the road of self hatred.

No matter how much rain fell on me, how deep I swam in the ocean,

I could not washed off the self sabotage stains.

You drifted in as a message in a bottle.

I read you more than a message.

You are full of life and fascinating.

I read you more like a book.

To me you are an open book,

I know all the mysteries and wonders of you.

My emotions follow you around,

from childlike innocent giggles,

blushing cheeks cuteness,

to grief and lost sadness,

heart wrenching sobs.

You let me read you like a book.

A world I stumbled into where treasures were found.

A place I rest upon to call home.

With you, I am finally enough!

Kite

I crafted you

Yet you married the sky

Memories are dissipating on a broken string

The wind subsided

Yet hope is lingering

Spring has gone

Yet I am still longing

Time has written love into a song

I humm it to the edge of the world

Hauntingly intense!

Equal measure

There has always been silence between us.

Your refusal to share and my restrain to express.

There has alway been space between us.

Your fear in repeating the history and
my patience in seeing things through.

There has always been harmony between us.

Your hesitation in baring your soul and the fortress I built for my failing heart.

We can continue like this to the end numbed and lost.

We may pierce the bubble with equal measure.

Both you and I know there is no safer place than here for our long gone, burntout, wayward souls.

My last good bye

When I go,

I wish my friends and love ones sit in a circle by the ocean.

I want you all to share your fondest memory of me.

You must share good food and celery sticks. I know this will be a hard ask.

You will listen to this playlist and let ‘We Are Loved’ sink into your hearts.

Que Sera Sera – Doris Day
Beautiful Ones – Suede
This Used to be My Playground – Madonna
China Blue – Julia Fordham
Sugar Hiccup – Cocteau Twins
What a Wonderful World – Louise Armstrong
Blessed be Your Name – Matt Redman
Mermaid – Sade

Infinity

You made me blush

You made me laugh

For most, you made me feel alive.

With you, I lost time

With you, I lost myself

With you, I lost my reasons to refuse.

We are soulmates, twin flames, out of space.

We are the tale that never ends.

Love Tragedy

I see you

I know you

If I were not broken in powdery pieces

I would have raced across

the river in heavens

to feel you

Instead

I am standing still

in awe of your fragile beauty

living out the ancient tale of

Niu Lang and Zhi Nu

http://worldstories.org.uk/stories/the-story-of-niu-lang-and-zhi-nu/

Mirage

It is you
the sweet aromatic wine I am drunk on

It is you
the alluring painting I stand admiring

It is your smile
like the willows in the breeze
brushing over my inner chamber
moving me to brace your fragile physique
longing to store this moment forever

It is you…but surely it isn’t you
wandered off with the same smile
lingering around my lost soul

I cannot behold my desire
How I wish you would
return with the same smile
squeeze in my arms once again

It is you…but surely it isn’t you
kin to an icy heart

I stand catatonically
in the storm
let the raging wind and rain
slash and break this
once in a life time
mirage

是你如一杯醇酒
使我醉倒
难道不是你如一幅影画
使我久久不愿离去
并不是因为你挽留的目光
而是因为你如风的浅笑
拂进我坦白的心田
曾用我温柔的臂膀
拥着你轻捷的双肩
奢望拥有你满生的感情
是你 绝对不是你
那么俏皮地从我怀里逃离
向我浅浅一笑
笑荡漾在我坦白的心田
却掩饰不住我心中的盼望
希望还是一笑 你能
再次钻进我温柔的臂膀
你 绝对不是你
冰冷的内心
还挤出如酒的笑容
让我 醉倒 让我 茫然而不知所措
张开的怀抱 只好
偷偷垂下交抱胸前 在
雨下 被敲打
清醒地一晃那今生不再有的
海市蜃楼

#believe4Sally

Its ‘believe for Sally’ Day! Sally is a local hero and a young mother who is fighting late stage of cancer.

I didn’t have tattoos nor piercings. I didn’t believe punching holes in my body, period.

Many years ago, Sally’s sister Rachel and I went to the same church and we love Jesus.

A month ago, an Instagram post struck my eye. It’s an invitation to the Inked Fish Salon to have ‘believe’ tattooed to support Sally.

I am not a person who makes hasty decisions for things with permanency. After a week’s contemplation, I decided to participate ‘believe for Sally’.

I lost people whom I love to cancer is not a piece of news. It happened, happening and will continue to happen. The word ‘believe’ for me, it is beyond believing for miracle healing of cancer, it is believing that we are not allowing cancer to rob us of joy in this life.

When I was 18, my cousin 思丹 was 13. She was a happy, simple and beautiful village girl. We lost her to leukemia shortly after she turned 14.

I clearly remembered that last time I visited her in the hospital. 思丹 loved mangos. I took her a juicy and meaty mango when I visited her. She was as pale as a porcelain doll. They stopped all treatment already. We took turns to brush her forearms, the only thing she found pleasurable in her last days.

I offered her the mango. I saw her eyelashes fluttering like the butterfly emerging from the cocoon. Then she curved her fingers signalling welcome to my offer. I was about to stand up to cut up the mango for 思丹. My uncle rushed off his seat and stopped me doing that. He told me mango is not good for her daughter’s diet. I was a compliant person. I honoured my uncle’s request. So 思丹 died 2 days after deprived from her favourite fruit.

By the village’s tradition, it is a taboo to bury a young person along the ancestors in the family graveyard. So 思丹 was buried somewhere in the forest. To me, that somewhere is a wasteland of nowhere.

I had been angry at myself for a long time, for not fighting for 思丹’s last pleasure of tasting a mango, for not being able to stand up to my uncle’s authority. More over, I hated the fear cancer instilled in my love ones’ hearts. It robbed them blind of simple pleasure and joy in life.

#believe4Sally and beyond, it is my pledge to believe miracle healing and be joyful in tribulations.

“Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfast in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

Mental Health First Aid

I was a bit down

yesterday

I stuck in that melancholy rug

I even took a walk

to the bluest sky

and bathed in the most

striking sunshine

I restrained myself from

looking at the shadow patch

where no grass would grow

I turned off the sad tunes

of agony moans

I even played aeroplane

when dining alone

So one spoon full after the next

I conducted self care

By the nightfall is

when the vampires roar

I wrote myself a cheeky poem

to dig myself out of the

depressive hole

We are cute

I write, you read

side by side

I bite on your arm

signal for a kiss

you turn to me

smile

meteor streaking across

the sky

thousands kisses fall