God comes through

I know God is faithful and yet I still doubt.

Jacaranda blooms in spring gloriously on this patch of the earth.

In late Springs, I enjoy strolling down the street where they are all lining up and yearning each other. Romantic poems written about the magnificent jacaranda.

Yet, my inclination to jacaranda is God comes through by illustration of its splendour Spring after Spring overcame the nakedness in Winters.

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin.”

God IS Faithful!

You

There you stood
rooted deeply
unshakable
I had wandered for a long time
finally I came back
to you
There you are
standing tall and strong
riches in springs
sheltering in summers
splendid in autumns
withered in winters
You
watching over me
When I fix my gaze to you
I finally found
the centre of my world


你
站在那里
一直

不动摇的树
我
出走了
又回来了
树
仍旧坚立着
季节变更
华叶，枯萎

你

仍然守候
我
总回头望树
身边的世界
绕着你走

The song took me back…

 

 

When I was listening to Kazu singing ‘Miss you so much’, tears trickling down my cheeks. It reminded me of the heartache of young love.

 

 

Kazu reminds me of the sweet love I could have had in my youth. The raw wanting of each other and smitten with one another.

 

 

When I was in my early twenties I was so confused and suffered from such low self esteem regardless how attractive I was (according to friends). I was awkward and shy with a tendency to run from love. Although I had a group of friends (mostly boys) to hang out with, I was lonely and so alone inside in particular when surrounded by friends.

 

 

I was looking at me, the early twenties self, when I was listening to the song. I walked through the memory lane, wrapped my arms around Kazu’s neck, tippy toes to reach for a kiss…

 

 

當我在聽俊輝唱《我好想你》的時候，眼淚漸漸地滾落到臉頰。

 

俊輝讓我想到青蔥歲月中錯過的戀愛，那种純真本性的渴望和如膠似漆的卿卿我我。

 

 

在我二十來歲時，盡管朋友認為我有吸引力，由於自身的自卑感和內心的迷惘，我總對愛情有著逃亡的趨向。由此行為上總是羞澀和囧。雖然我總和一群人(大多是男生)一起戲耍，但我的內心總是那麼的孤獨寂寞。人越多，越寂寞。

 

 

聽著俊輝唱著的歌，我穿過時光隧道，仰著頭，踮起腳尖，雙手環繞著俊輝的頸脖，迎接他正落下的吻。。。

Peaceful

This short poem was originally written in Chinese. I translated into English and hoping did not lose its original flavour.

My freedom is deep in the ocean
serenity assured
My existence
no disturbance to your world
I sing by
breathing out bubbles
no judgement
no echoes
Immersing in navy
without the blues
In such dim darkness
I saw light

我的自由
是在深海里
尤其安祥
海洋的世界
不被我打擾
呼吸的泡泡
是我唱的歌
難聽
也沒有回聲
我眼前的藍色
不再憂郁
深海的漆黑
我的目光仍然明亮

The beginning of the writing journey

    “Hope never fails”

Giving is a blessing. Receiving is also a blessing.

In my line of work, I walk alongside people to support them achieve their career goals. It is a satisfying thing to do because I get the opportunity to use my knowledge, skills and natural strengths to bless people come to my path.

In a workshop I deliver regularly, I ask the participants ‘What is your dream job?’.  I share with them my dream job is being a writer and living on a farm growing my own vegetables. I shared that in each of the workshop I have delivered.

The moment of inspiration came from a recent workshop I delivered. One of the participants is also one of those special people God put on my path. She is like a blooming rose from day one I met her. Her passion, her cheerful nature, her insight and her determination inspired me. Walking alongside her to see this rose from a rose bud to her glory is something rewarding and appreciated with amazement.

After the workshop. She sent me a lovely email which brought me to tears. She researched a college course that will help me kick off my writing so I will be on my way to achieve my dream as a writer. Her encouraging words moved me to write. I started to write, just putting words on paper. It’s about me go on a journey to fulfill my dream. It is not about others’ approval. I write is because all these emotions, feelings, encounters, moments oozing out of my mind to make sense of the world around me.

That’s how this blog came to existence. It is that simple. I received a blessing from a blooming rose. ” Hope never fails.”

 

Labyrinth Walk

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http://www.pch.org.au/

I brought a branch of rosemary in my pocket at the entrance of the walk.
“God, I come bare, and ask you to show me what you have for me. I am not clear of my agenda, let it be your agenda today when I take this walk. Amen”
As I started walking the labyrinth, the truck started driving away, the noise subsided and I could hear the birds chirping, a few species. I thought of Tim as he loved birds.
There is an insect landed on my notebook, sitting there quietly will not move. It seemed to be at peace.
I then heard a dog barking, tree leaves caressing in the wind.
I occasionally fixed the rocks on the path, not obsessively, but did as I please.
Another dog started to bark, not as loud. There was a chainsaw in action in remote distance.
Birds were flapping their wings.
I could see the sun light created shades on the trees. There were yellow leaves bursting with autumn red.
The sound and the look of the trees seemed to always draw my attention.
“Father, I’m writing this journey. Is it that you would like me to write my life journey?”
The insect flew away at that point.
“Where do I start?”
Start from the trees. At that point the sound of the trees stopped as the wind quieted down.
I really was meant to be writing. In English? The trees started to sound again dancing in the wind.
There are moss around some part of the rocks. Mossy green, ha, that’s the colour of course.
The tightness of my chest started to loosen up. I could take deeper breaths. I didn’t realise my breath was shallow before.
I bumped into half of a cobweb. I turned around did not ‘destroy’ it.
I stopped to sniff the rosemary branch. I heard people cheering on the sports ground nearby (I saw it before I arrived here).
The birds stopped, only 1 or 2 still singing, oh more actually joined in, just in the distance perhaps I could not hear before. I could also hear traffic now.
“God, your will be done.”
I arrived at the centre of the Labyrinth.
“God, what do you want me to learn here?”
“Your broken heart.”
My understanding is the broken heart of young love.
I put the rosemary branch down. I had a deep sniff before I put it down.
“God, what do I take when I walk out the labyrinth?”
I felt sad. So I stayed in the centre didn’t feel it’s time to go.
“Can I leave my sadness behind, leave it with you?”
“Yes, you can my child.”
I was feeling life long unfulfilled dreams – love and writing.
“God, I leave these dreams in your altar, in your hands.”
My stomach was feeling blocked.
“Father, help me.”
“My child, all your worries, all your anxiety, all your unfulfilled dreams I know. I created you, every bit of you.”
“Thank you Father that you know me.”
“That’s alright my dear child. Everything will be okay. Go on your way child, everything will be okay.”
“Really?”
“Start walking, trust Me.”
I still was sitting not wanting to go. Then He reminded me of how my back was healed but I dared not believe as I was fear of disappointment.
“I will not disappoint you my child. Have faith in Me.”
I got up and walked out of the labyrinth. I was determined to walk out in one stretch without stopping. I breathed out stress, anxiety, sadness. I walked out without fixing any rocks. I just wanted to get out and enjoy what You have promised.
“Everything will be alright.”
The stuff moved from my stomach to my chest, to my throat, then I felt light headache. I just wanted to get rid of it before I finish the walk. I started to pray for the remaining of the journey.
I burbed and the stuff came out. At the exit of the labyrinth, I faced the centre and gave thanks to Him.
I stood there, closed my eyes, being with the sound – birds and trees.